You know, I heard about these kids. They were playing catch in the lake. They were completely oblivious of a dangerous hybrid that had been released into the lake by a mad scientist (me) and had proven to have a taste for human flesh. The children were enjoying themselves in the lake when they heard a low-pitched growl. One of the children started to hum the theme to the movie Jaws. The others insisted that he stop. But before he could respond, a giant claw emerged from the depths of the lake and seized the child by the torso. He screamed and kicked, but the claw inevitably pulled him down to the lake bottom. The other children were frightened by this horrible act and tried to swim away. But their actions were in vain. One by one, the razor-sharp claws of the beast pulled the thrashing children down into the lake, where they would be devoured by the Great Lake Monster.
Rain and thunder. A flood of patrons hunkered under the umbrellas erupts from the theater. Elsewhere, children’s voices echo in the storm.
Soon, some strange men showed up to take the children.
They didn’t know what to do so they decided to go with them.
Then the men took over the world, well he tried.
But, he was being dumb and
accidentally smoked too much and shot himself
and came back to life and smoked more
aaah. AAAAHH!
Goldfish is hitting the wall with his head
Hobo Fred: Goldfish, can you stop?
Goldfish: No! We’ll never get out of here!
Ice Cream: Shut up!
Goldfish: Why should I?
Ice Cream: Because you’ll jinx us.
Goldfish: WE’LL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE!!!
Goldfish continues to bang his head against the wall
Hobo Fred gets fed up with goldfish and eats him
Ice Cream: Hobo Fred! At least he won’t be around for this
Ice Cream jumps up and knocks Hobo Fred out
Fin
Characters: Goldfish, Ice Cream, and Hobo Fred
Interesting facts: Goldfish is edible, Ice Cream is cold, And Hobo Fred is homeless
Setting: Area 51 during Y2K
There once was a boy named Doug. From his head to his shoe, he was a nerd. He had comic books about calculus, soap boxes filled with “collectibles”, he even had rubber soles autographed by the cast of star trek. He annoyed me about all his science fiction crap day in and day out until finally, I had enough. I took all of his stuff and lit it on fire. Then I tied Doug to a board, hung him on the ceiling and called him a piñata. Then I invited a bunch of kids to see who could hit it the hardest. Afterwords, I locked him in a cellar and made him watch football on T.V. (It’s the nerd’s worst enemy). He promised he would never bother me about his nerd stuff ever again, and then moved to brazil to become a traveling mime. With his departure, I knew all was right in the world. The End.
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1010100101010101000111110100101000111011010010111
0101110101000110010101001010010101001010 Can you find the 2?
I think that it’s a projection of an alien’s head informing the inhabitants of earth that they were going to be destroyed by their super-destroyer ray. Of course there’s going to be some sort of hero to save the earth, or die trying. It’s Cliche, I know, but that’s what’s going to happen. Probably. If not, murder and mayhem sets the mood for imminent destruction. You know, stealing and burning stuff, random rioting, and maybe a few murders. Probably.
There once was a kid named Joe. He never got his way. Like the time he tried to move a couch for a friend. He ended up dropping the couch on himself in the most painful way possible. There were other times, but it would take decades to remember them all. One day he found a four-leaf clover. He thought that his luck was finally about to turn. But when he bent over to pick it up, a wrecking ball from a nearby deconstruction site swung over and hit him in the backside. He flew about fifty feet before colliding with an office building. he slid down the building into a streetside shark tank. He was quickly dismembered by the sharks. At his funeral, one of the casket holders tripped over a rock, throwing the coffin with poor Joe’s remains into the ocean. The morale of the story is that even in death, you can be unlucky.
There onc
e was a cat named Bartholomew, but everyone called him Bart. He was fat. He hated everyone for calling him stuff like tubbo, fatso, and fudgenuggets. So he built a portal to summon every other fat
cat to fight in his army against humanity. There were a ton of zaps involved with the portal, and it took a while for the portal to zero in on fat cats, but after a few hours of random 
objects getting summoned through the portal, his army of fat cats came, more than happy to join his army, because they got the memo on myspace ahead of time. But when Bart ralleyed his troops into batttle, they were too lazy to attack. The lesson here is to not be fat
